How Often Can Your Children Visit You? by Len Stauffenger

I'm afraid way too many dads take a hit when it comes to getting visitation. It's entirely possible that their previous behavior earned them what their wives are dishing out now. It's also possible that their previous behavior was not deserving of what their wives are now dishing out. Either way, the focus here needs to be pointed to what is the pivotal point: visitation isn't about the parents - it's about the children.
Unless a parent causes the child harm, he needs both of his parents. They need to know that they were not to blame for the divorce. They need to know that even if one parent is no longer living with the child, that parent still thinks about them, cares about them, and loves them.
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The Courts awarded your right to visit your children during your divorce. Unless specified by the Court, one spouse does not have the right to overrule this Court decision without the Court's approval. If your ex is not adhering to the Court's ruling, go back to Court and get the details clarified. It is a right that both you and your kids share.
If your ex is withholding your right to visit your children, advise the police. Don't hesitate. If you wait, by the time you eventually do get back into Court, the judge will think you don't care. This is not about harming your ex: it's about your children and their right to have their mommy or daddy in their life.
If your former spouse wants to move, have your attorney advised immediately to take the legal steps to either allow or disallow him or her to move. Relocation is much easier to put a halt to before they move than after, so RUN to your attorney the moment this rears it's head. Your children deserve the continuity of both parent's presence and love.
Be considerate of grandparents and caregivers regarding visitation when you're getting a divorce. It's for the children, remember? They've formed bonds with these folks in their lives and they deserve to have that continue uninterrupted.
Here are some great points from www.findlaw.com about the best interests of the child for your information and advice.
What Factors Determine the Child's "Best Interest"?
Although the "best interest" standard can be hard to define in some situations, some factors are common in "best interest" analysis in most custody situations:
- Wishes of the child (if old enough to capably express a reasonable preference);
- Mental and physical health of the parents;
- Religion and/or cultural considerations;
- Need for continuation of stable home environment;
- Support from the family members of each parent;
- Interaction and interrelationship with other members of household;
- Adjustment to school and community;
- Age and sex of child;
- Parental use of excessive discipline or emotional abuse; and
- Evidence of parental drug, alcohol or sex abuse.
Don't allow petty animosity toward your ex to enter into your visitation decisions because only your kid's well being should be considered. They deserve to enjoy both their mom and their dad. Will your decision foster happiness, security, stability, normalcy and positive growth in your child? Do that. Anything else, avoid that.

About the Author
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com